Top 20 Developer Responses to Bug Reports
20. That’s weird.
19. It’s never done that before.
18. It worked yesterday.
17. How is that possible?
16. It must be a hardware problem.
15. What did you type in wrong?
14. There is something funky in your data.
13. I haven’t touched that module in weeks.
12. You must have wrong version.
11. I can’t reproduce that.
10. I can’t test everything.
09. THIS can’t be the source to THAT!
08. It works, but it hasn’t been tested.
07. Somebody must have changed my code.
06. Did you check for a virus on your system?
05. OK, it hangs your system, but do you like it?
04. You can’t use that version on your system.
03. Why do you want to do it that way?
02. What were you doing when the program blew up?
01. I thought I fixed that.
Top 10 Product Team Reactions for Enhancement Requests
10. Gee. We never thought of that.
09. Why do you want that?
08. You bought the product without it, so why should we do the work?
07. Well that was scheduled to go in, but the team was on a golf outing that day.
06. We’re investigating that for future versions.
05. If you had any idea how hard that would be, you wouldn’t ask for it.
04. Some variant of “As if!” or “Yuh, right!”
03. “You can do that now”, followed by either some arcane trick or by something 50 times harder than what they were hoping for.
02. People have been asking for that for 3 versions now and we haven’t done it. Take the hint!
01. We cut that feature out because we couldn’t think up a new buzz work to describe it.